Tired of Negativity

[Toppy Vann]

You have to have a balanced perspective or you will lose any hope of being close to reality in perceptions. Even the players right now might be finding too much negative in their thinking and this is affecting how they start these games and how they play. These are some post 0 and 4 quotes from players.

What Wally Buono typically does is to get his players realizing and believing that they are better than the results have shown. This has worked in prior seasons recently and is the only way out of the hole the Lions dug for themselves. Hopefully the players aren't as negative on their team and coaches as we are in the fan base where it matters only at the gate if we care or not. Yes the stats show this team can turn it around and do it quickly as there is a very fine line between playing at the level it takes to win and playing just to avoid personal errors and keeping your job and losing. If your team is thinking of job loss only or the coaches are wrong - that spells disaster.

This is a good example in the player quotes but look at Valli's thinking. The players start to get doubts even though it is not all bad.

Dean Valli. “Even when things go right you’re wondering what can go wrong now.”


Wally says his thing and after that it’s up to us,” said Ryan Phillips, part of a defence that gave up four more plays in excess of 30 yards. “We’re grown men; we don’t need to have anyone babysit us. But maybe that is what we need because something has to give.”

Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/sports/Lions ... z1T5UbzJVi


I don’t know if the guys need to be slapped in the face before we walk out there, but we always want to start behind the eight-ball,” said kicker Paul McCallum.

“What I’m scared of now is that we go ‘this is the way we are; we can’t change the mindset’. It’s got to change,” said centre Angus Reid. “Is rah-rah going to work? You deal with 50 people. Everybody works differently. A coach can’t fake it. Wally can’t yell and throw chairs.”

Read more: http://www.theprovince.com/sports/Lions ... z1T5UTM7ko

[notahomer]

On this afternoons broadcast Suitor said something about the Rider players being tired of the things the media and fans were saying. But they accept that is their right to complain and the best way to make it go away is to play great football and win games. Yes, some of us (myself included) are still going to complain even if the Lions win out the season. Why? Yes, the positives need to be pointed out but what can be improved upon does too.

I don't feel I have ever had to pick splinters out of my butt (I'm not a bandwagoner). I'm not a guy who paints his face orange. But I come to this site all year long because the Lions are my favourite leisure topic. I love hiking, kayaking and the like. But when it comes to football, the Lions are my team and the CFL is my game.

[cromartie]

I see negativity still. It really really sucks that we are 0-4. I hate it.

This is, and always has been, a board of realists. Having been here since about four months after it opened for business, I think I'm qualified to say that.

There were some posters, whom I respect, that tired of that aspect of it and went off to start a more positive environment which does have some quality content.

The collective outlook there is probably more in line with your way of thinking.

The idea of an "unabashed fan" is a myth. A marketing construct. Sports is a business. Always has been. Fundamentally, you hand over your money and they provide you with an entertainment product of some quality. If you find that quality insufficient, not only should you complain about it but, should your frustration level reach a certain point, you can and arguably should stop giving it your money and, equally as important, your time.

I find the quote you chose out of what I said to be very interesting, since I went on to say much more. Anyway, what I find really funny about a number of people around here is that they claim to be realists. How can you claim to be a realist when all you talk about is how everything sucks and the team sucks and this was bad and that was bad. Picking out every little detail that went badly and never mentioning what went well. I'm not saying that everyone is like that, but there are a number of people that seem to be saying that the season is pretty much over now. Is that really realism? In life there are always positives and negatives. Life is balanced that way. There is never a situation where there are only negatives. However, you can choose what you take out of it and how you look at it. A true realist would take note of the negative aspects, but also look for the positives. Someone with a positive outlook tends to fail to see the negatives and that, as a fan is never good. You can't just believe your team is the best and not be able to back it up. You should be able to see the negatives and express your dissatisfaction with the team so they know they need to do better. On the other hand, people with negative outlooks tend to fail to see any positives. They start falling into depressive states. They are the ones that stop going to games all together because they start to lose faith that the team can do any good at all and if the team does not win then they think their team really sucks, even if that is not the case. If all fans were like that then any team with a losing season would be unable to financially support itself and would fold. And thinking that a team needs fan support to believe they need to play better is a stupid idea. These are professional athletes who have put years and years of their lives into their craft. Their financial well-being is on the line if they don't play well. Yes, they want to please the fans, but they want to win for themselves and their team. They don't have to have the motivation provided by fans to win. It helps to have fans at games to provide the momentary push they need to play harder in games, but do you think they think about the fans in practice? Oh, yeah, I should try harder because if not the fans won't be happy. NO. They are displeased with their own performance and strive to be better every day anyway. Or their coaches tell them what to work on. The fan dissatisfaction tells the team in general they need to try harder, but the team itself already knows that. You think they would be fine losing if fans didn't say it was bad? How often do you hear players saying they want to improve because of the fans? Very rarely. I think the realism many people around here talk about is BS. You can't be a realist if you don't look at both sides of the coin. A realist sees things as they actually are. A coin has two sides. A realist could never say that a coin is only one sided. The same goes for everything, including a sports team. If you want to be a realist, point out what you liked and what you think is going well at the same time you make your observation about what needs improvement. When thinking about the future, don't get lost in the past and lose hope. Think about what the situation is and what the odds are of achieving something good are at this moment. By that I mean stop thinking that we have no chance at the Grey Cup until at least half way through the season. As a fan, what I would do if I was one that could go to games regularly is that I would continue going to games. If I were to use my money to tell the team I am not satisfied it would be to cease purchasing merchandise or supporting them in other ways financially. I would not stp cheering them on. I will personally be a Lions fan no matter what for as long as I live, even if they don't win a game in 20 years. That is not what matters, and abandoning them will not help them. If everyone around them loses hope then how can you expect them to have any hope and get better? Hope is needed to improve. You have to have the right attitude to win. If you don't think you can win before you even start playing, how can you expect to even come close?

The last thing any of us need is psychological advice from a teenager who doesn't understand how to use paragraph breaks.

How's that for negativity.

[jrower]

This is, and always has been, a board of realists. Having been here since about four months after it opened for business, I think I'm qualified to say that.

There were some posters, whom I respect, that tired of that aspect of it and went off to start a more positive environment which does have some quality content.

The collective outlook there is probably more in line with your way of thinking.

The idea of an "unabashed fan" is a myth. A marketing construct. Sports is a business. Always has been. Fundamentally, you hand over your money and they provide you with an entertainment product of some quality. If you find that quality insufficient, not only should you complain about it but, should your frustration level reach a certain point, you can and arguably should stop giving it your money and, equally as important, your time.

I find the quote you chose out of what I said to be very interesting, since I went on to say much more. Anyway, what I find really funny about a number of people around here is that they claim to be realists. How can you claim to be a realist when all you talk about is how everything sucks and the team sucks and this was bad and that was bad. Picking out every little detail that went badly and never mentioning what went well. I'm not saying that everyone is like that, but there are a number of people that seem to be saying that the season is pretty much over now. Is that really realism? In life there are always positives and negatives. Life is balanced that way. There is never a situation where there are only negatives. However, you can choose what you take out of it and how you look at it. A true realist would take note of the negative aspects, but also look for the positives. Someone with a positive outlook tends to fail to see the negatives and that, as a fan is never good. You can't just believe your team is the best and not be able to back it up. You should be able to see the negatives and express your dissatisfaction with the team so they know they need to do better. On the other hand, people with negative outlooks tend to fail to see any positives. They start falling into depressive states. They are the ones that stop going to games all together because they start to lose faith that the team can do any good at all and if the team does not win then they think their team really sucks, even if that is not the case. If all fans were like that then any team with a losing season would be unable to financially support itself and would fold. And thinking that a team needs fan support to believe they need to play better is a stupid idea. These are professional athletes who have put years and years of their lives into their craft. Their financial well-being is on the line if they don't play well. Yes, they want to please the fans, but they want to win for themselves and their team. They don't have to have the motivation provided by fans to win. It helps to have fans at games to provide the momentary push they need to play harder in games, but do you think they think about the fans in practice? Oh, yeah, I should try harder because if not the fans won't be happy. NO. They are displeased with their own performance and strive to be better every day anyway. Or their coaches tell them what to work on. The fan dissatisfaction tells the team in general they need to try harder, but the team itself already knows that. You think they would be fine losing if fans didn't say it was bad? How often do you hear players saying they want to improve because of the fans? Very rarely. I think the realism many people around here talk about is BS. You can't be a realist if you don't look at both sides of the coin. A realist sees things as they actually are. A coin has two sides. A realist could never say that a coin is only one sided. The same goes for everything, including a sports team. If you want to be a realist, point out what you liked and what you think is going well at the same time you make your observation about what needs improvement. When thinking about the future, don't get lost in the past and lose hope. Think about what the situation is and what the odds are of achieving something good are at this moment. By that I mean stop thinking that we have no chance at the Grey Cup until at least half way through the season. As a fan, what I would do if I was one that could go to games regularly is that I would continue going to games. If I were to use my money to tell the team I am not satisfied it would be to cease purchasing merchandise or supporting them in other ways financially. I would not stp cheering them on. I will personally be a Lions fan no matter what for as long as I live, even if they don't win a game in 20 years. That is not what matters, and abandoning them will not help them. If everyone around them loses hope then how can you expect them to have any hope and get better? Hope is needed to improve. You have to have the right attitude to win. If you don't think you can win before you even start playing, how can you expect to even come close?

The last thing any of us need is psychological advice from a teenager who doesn't understand how to use paragraph breaks.

How's that for negativity.

First, not a teenager. Second, I was just getting my thoughts out as they came so I didn't bother with paragraphs this time. Third, I am a Psych student, more qualified than most to give psychological advice. Not yet able to call myself a professional, but I'm getting there. About a year left before I can do that. Anyway, I have been busy working on a project for a course on adolescent development and I check things like this when I take breaks. Didn't have time to edit what I had to say. I'm sure you've never written anything hastily though. No, for you to make a comment like that you must be purrfect all the time. So sorry I'm not purrfect like you. I'll try better in the future to achieve perfection. Maybe when I'm not busy with my education.

[notahomer]

I would disagree with you that Psych students are more qualified than most to give advice. I AM A PROFESSIONAL (just a decade) in your chosen field. Please for the benefit of the people you are hoping to serve as a professional, practice what you preach. People who need psych help usually want the people giving advice to live by the advice. Not only that the people I serve TEACH me too. If you are truly tired of the negativity, start looking for the positive in others too.

This is football, not life. I am much more of a realist in life but I do consider myself a realist in football too. Enjoy the season.......(and good luck in your career choice, if you are doing it for the money you won't last. If you are doing it to contribute to a greater good, it can be the best paying, I'm not talking money here, career a person could ever have).

[jrower]

I would disagree with you that Psych students are more qualified than most to give advice. I AM A PROFESSIONAL (just a decade) in your chosen field. Please for the benefit of the people you are hoping to serve as a professional, practice what you preach. People who need psych help usually want the people giving advice to live by the advice. Not only that the people I serve TEACH me too. If you are truly tired of the negativity, start looking for the positive in others too.

This is football, not life. I am much more of a realist in life but I do consider myself a realist in football too. Enjoy the season.......(and good luck in your career choice, if you are doing it for the money you won't last. If you are doing it to contribute to a greater good, it can be the best paying, I'm not talking money here, career a person could ever have).

In any field someone with some training is better for advice than someone with no training. I am also trained in giving psych advice. I am someone who is qualified to be hired at a help line. So for giving psychological advice, which was the key word in the previous comments (by cromartie and myself.), I would be more qualified than most people. For advice in general, it really depends on the topic. When it comes to sports I would be better at giving Rowing advice than I would Cricket advice, since I've never played Cricket and have been on a university Rowing team and know national team members.

I do look for the positive in people as well. However, that is a bit difficult to do when all you have to go off of is text. As for my career choice, definitely not for money. I have and always will be someone that helps others. Whether I actually go into counselling of any kind or whether I go into the research end of things, I am not yet sure. Anyway, a lot of my comments about the negativity stemmed from the fact that during week 3 I had to sit through a game with someone who would not shut up about all the bad things that were going on with the team. I mentioned that when I started this thread. Recently it has been more of a description of why I don't think a number of people who claim to be realists around here actually aren't. Didn't mean anyone specific. There are some who are actually realists, sort of. Hard to be a purrfect realist.

[West Coast Blue Fan]

Gold star for you then,jrower.

I, on the other hand, pay good money to see what I hope is a professional product. If I'm not happy with what i have paid for in advance, I have choices. One of them is to be vocal on what I think should be done. I'm not a professional by any means, but the Lions and the product they put out on the field are hardly what I would call a "good value". If I don't like my meal at a restaurant, i send it back. If I don't like a shirt I bought, I return it. The Lion fans that have spent their dollars on one ticket or season tickets have neither option available.

I have also made financial donations to support this site and have been a member for some time, so please forgive me if I'm not 100% positive about what is going on with our failing franchise. There is nothing more condescending in my opinion than someone telling me what I can and can't say (within the forum rules) about what a true fan is. Please, if you are that tired of reading them, move on. There are other forums around.....as many of the mods are here are so fond to remind me...lol.

[1greatmysticbushape]

what a time to fumble - I'm going to kill myself.

[Anglophone]

what a time to fumble - I'm going to kill myself.

Fumble?? Am I missing something?

[notahomer]

In any field someone with some training is better for advice than someone with no training. I am also trained in giving psych advice. I am someone who is qualified to be hired at a help line. ...

As a professional who works in the field once again, the fact you are a 3rd psych year student sets you behind the average joe/jill, IMO. Psych students often forget what you learn in school is not reality. IF, you have done any practicums, I'm sure you have experienced what I am talking about.

The fact you are qualified to be hired at a help line is another thing altogether. I can/do respect the work they do. If you are doing it, then you probably already understand my point about how the awesome pay is not something that can be deposited into a bank account. If you are working a help line, thank you. This is an incredible important service to a stigmatized population.

I'm going to try and do what I've asked you to do, practice what you preach. So here it goes. Of course it is just my opinion that these are positives (and no doubt some may have some negativity in there too).

There has been some negative things said by your father, that got you to post here. From my perspective, you coming here to chat has been a positive. But you and others may disagree.

Some negative things said seem to have you focussed on some of the positives the Lions have done (mine were: coming close to winning, establish a running game, having Gene Simmons do a coin flip). Again more positives.

I'm guessing (I wasn't there, you know I don't) that you set an assertive boundary with your father. Given a choice between not watching with you and changing some behaviour so he could watch with you, he chose the latter. Sounds positive to me but what did you think?

So, once again, I gently ask you to also try to see the positives even in the negatives. It just makes what you are trying to say that much more credible, IMO.

And good luck, sincerely in the field. My gut tells me based on some of the comments you'll do fine. It really is so amazing when you see someone in the depths and later down the road they rebound. They'll want to give you all the credit but don't let them. Faith and hope are essential parts of my working day.

[1greatmysticbushape]

what a time to fumble - I'm going to kill myself.

Fumble?? Am I missing something?

just a line from an old Mad magazine that I thought fit in with the psych arguments - as in KISS.

[Lionheart]

I am tired of negativity. Not because of people online being negative, but because my father is negative. I can't watch games with him any more.

I'll bet you and your father have a wonderful and loving relationship now eh?