Funny Football Quotes

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." 
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996.

"You guys line up alphabetically by height." and "You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach.

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements: "I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."

Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

Mike McCormack , coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis: "I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time."

Mike Lucci, Detroit Lion linebacker, on his three key interceptions against the Chicago Bears: "Yeah, they gave me the game ball. If they hadn't given it to me, I would have taken it, anyway."

Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."

Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."

Greg Buttle, New York Jet linebacker, explaining his contractual obligations: "They pay me to practice. Sundays I play for free."

Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."

Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after he took the job with the Boilermakers: "He said: 'Gosh, Dad, that mean's we're not going to any more bowl games.

LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children: "They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets." 

Dorothy Shula , on the career dedication of her husband, the Miami Dolphins' coach: "I'm fairly confident that if I died tomorrow, Don would find a way to preserve me until the season was over and he had time for a nice funeral." 

Jeff Kemp, 49ers quarterback, when asked about his rapport with wide receiver Jerry Rice: "Rapport? You mean like, 'You run as fast as you can, and I'll throw it as far as I can'?" 

"If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?" -Vince Lombardi

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." -Bill Peterson, football coach

Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries this season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?" 

"This is the greatest country in America." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach 

"You can observe a lot just by watching." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"I want to gain 1,500 or 2,000 yards, whichever comes first." - George Rogers, New Orleans Saints running back

Former Houston Oilers Coach Bum Philips when asked why he always brought his wife on Road Trips replied "Cuz she's to damn ugly to kiss goodbye"