Twas the Night Before Xmas

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Blitz
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Joined: Fri Jul 22, 2005 8:44 am

'Twas’ the Night Before Christmas'

or An Account of a Visit from our Lions' Saint Wally

by Blitz

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through Leo Land
Not a creature was stirring, heck, not even Toppy Vann
All Lionbackers’ stockings were hung by their chimneys with care,
In hopes that St. Wally and his assistants would soon be there;

The Lion King and B.C. Fan were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Grey Cup 2018 danced in their heads;
And Sir Percival in his 'kerchief, and Johnny Musso in his cap,
Had finally settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
David sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
While far away, to his window Hambone flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave lustre to the face of our own West Coast Joe
When, what to Dano T’s wondering eyes did approach?
Why it was miniature sleigh being pulled by each Lions coach

With an old driver who looked neither lively or jolly,
The Lion King knew it could be no other than St. Wally
More rapid than eagles his assistant coaches they came,
And St. Wally whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

But Khari and Robin were gone and oh by the way
Wally had hired a new GM, who was now pulling the sleigh
The new GM wanted Wally to be the coach of his team
Now who could have concocted this Machievelliean scheme?

The new organizational structure was all topsy turvey
But then who’d have believed Wally would hire Ed Hervey?
Ed was the new boss who could fire the Head Coach
But Wally could fire Ed, and this was all beyond reproach

St. Wally said “Sure hope you don’t think the 2018 season is ‘all about me”
“Its not my fault - I’m just a 'legend', satisfying Gods destiny.
The football gods rolled their eyes and scoffed at his claim
They’d observed a lot of *poop* during St. Wally’s reign

Our Leos didn’t make the playoffs but St. Wally felt no shame
Heck, it wasn;t his fault, he always had his players to blame
'They didn’t play with intensity, they didn’t play mad
They'd set up a fund for their wives, it was all so, so sad'.

As the sleigh first flew past the moon and then circled the sun
St. Wally mentored his assistants to always punt on third and one
Then up to Rammer's house-top, the assistant coaches they flew,
With their sleigh full of footballs, Ed, and St. Wally too.

Then, in a twinkling, max lion looked up at his roof
Why it was the "Living Legend", he now had the proof
While at Cromartie’s house as he was turning around,
Down the chimney, St. Wally came with a bound.

He was dressed all in creamsicle fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
Bundles of 2018 Leo season tickets he'd flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, as he opened his pack.

His eyes -- how they penetrated, his rule absolute
His football was simple, play hard and just "execute"
His droll mouth was curled up, just like a bow
And the hair on his head was as white as the snow.

St. Wally knew, as Leos HC, there was no time to rest
Even though he was irreplaceable, or he’d so convinced the press
His halo encircled his head like a wreath;
His philosophy engrained, his schemes a belief

He was slippery and deflective, a right tricky old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
Next came a harsh glance of his eye and a twist of his head,
But I didn't play for him: I knew I had nothing to dread;

It was Xmas time and I told myself to be of good cheer
Lionbackers know Ed will upgrade the talent and 2018 is near
Hope is eternal, 'you know, you know' even with Wally coaching our team
We’ll just have to cross our fingers for a new offensive scheme

As I lay my head down on my pillow I pictured it all in my mind
For Leos fans, the 2018 football season would be mighty kind
Wally would be holding the Grey Cup in the palm of his hand
And accolades would pour down for this 'great, great' man

Once again, all his sins would be forgotten, in the haze of the win
And Wally would fade into the sunset, a new life to begin
His reign finally over, 'He knew we'd always remember his name'
St. Wally had written his own final chapter, once more again

St. Wally spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the Lionbacker's stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside his strong Italian nose,
And giving a command, up the chimney he rose;

He walked to his sleigh, to his coaches he gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But then the football gods exclaimed, ere he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL LIONBACKERS AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"


Merry Xmas to all Lionbackers.

Thanks for making this the best football website in 'all the land' Sometimes we agree and sometimes we don't but we are a brotherhood.

Hoping a Grey Cup victory will be a part of this upcoming new year. Wishing each of you the very best in 2018.

Happy holidays!!!
"When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team". (George Raveling)
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WestCoastJoe
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Thanks, Blitz, for the smiles, the chuckles and the good cheer.

Season's Greetings to you and to all Lionbackers everywhere. :beer:
John Madden's Team Policies: Be on time. Pay attention. Play like hell on game day.

Jimmy Johnson's Game Keys: Protect the ball. Make plays.

Walter Payton's Advice to Kids: Play hard. Play fair. Have fun.
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B.C.FAN
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Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 10:28 pm

Merry Christmas, Blitz, and all Lionbackers.

Winning a Grey Cup would certainly lift a lot of spirits around here. There is always hope.
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David
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Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2002 10:23 am
Location: Vancouver (Kitsilano)

Lol, good job, Blitz! Yes, we are a brotherhood on this site. :thup:

Merry Christmas to all of our fellow Lionbackers. Hope you all receive some black and orange in your stockings and under the tree this year. :wink:

I know some of my nearest and dearest will be. :roar:


DH :cool:
Roar, You Lions, Roar
TheLionKing
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Joined: Sat Feb 19, 2005 10:13 pm
Location: Vancouver

You outdid yourself again Blitz. Well done ! Merry Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year to all Lionbackers.
jwbavalon
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Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2012 8:42 am

Thanks for the smile Blitz.

And a Merry Christmas to all Lionbackers.
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Sir Purrcival
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Location: Comox Valley

Well said, well said. I love you guys (sniff).

In a platonic manly way that is. (Those aren't pillows!) How bout those Lions eh!

Happy holidays to all!
Tell me how long must a fan be strong? Ans. Always.
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cromartie
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Location: Cleveland, usually

As always, sir, cheers to you for bringing us this joy.
Dusty
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cromartie wrote:
Tue Dec 19, 2017 2:38 pm
As always, sir, cheers to you for bringing us this joy.
Ditto..!! especially for "Hope is eternal, you know, you know...".... that was a LOL moment for me....
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DanoT
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Location: Victoria, B.C. in summer, Sun Peaks Resort in winter

Well done Blitz.

My lol moment was the "dressed in creamsicle fur from his head to his foot".
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Rammer
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Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2002 6:04 pm
Location: Coquitlam, B.C.

Blitz's 'twas the night before Xmas' is a tradition we've come to expect. This season more than others needed the humour provided, a welcome addition at this time of the season.

That said Blitz's contributions throughout the season help make the knowledge of this site rise above the others. Pillows indeed Sir P, all hands on deck for 2018.
Entertainment value = an all time low
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