Its second and 10 on the Bombers 30 yard line in the third quarter and our Lions are down by 3. Wally walks up to Chap and says "Huff...get Garcia to throw it to Pittsy". Chapdelaine says "Huh""I'm Jaques and Dickenson is our quarterback and Simon is our go to guy- do you want me to primary it Simon?" "Definitely" says Wally. Dickenson hits Simon on an out but the measurement shows we are short a foot.
"Punt team" yells Buono. "Kick it through the end zone for a point " Buono adds. "Are you sure," asks McCallum and adds "Its only a chip shot field goal". "Of course I'm sure" retorts Buono. "We'll only be down by 2 points and there will be no chance for a return" he adds smugly.
The single goes through the end zone with ease and the Bombers offence takes the football and our defense shuts them down. Our offence takes over again and marches down to the Bombers 23 yard line, where they are stopped once again a foot short of a first down, setting up another third down attempt. Our offence prepares to run the quarterback sneak but Wally signals the offence off the field. McCallum grabs his tee again for a 30 yard field goal attempt but Buono yells out again "Punt team!" McCallum responds "Its only a 30 yard attempt and I'm very accurate from 30 yardsin". "We'll only be down by 1,with no chance of a return if you coffin corner the punt into the end zone" says Wally, imitating the look of a genius. McCallum kicks another single and our Leos are down by 1 point. Benny, our special teams coordinator, runs down the sidelines like a mad man, thrilled with the second single point in a row.
The Bombers offence, relieved at these two reprieves, run onto the field excited. Ritchie sends in a signal to Barrin Miles to run the disguised halfback blitz, with Miles ready to rotate over at the snap of the football to ball hawk the antipated pass. Wally sees Banks sneaking up and yells at Banks "Get back, get back, get back into zone". Banks sneaks a look at Ritchie, feeling very confused. Miles signals Banks to blitz and the pressure forces the Bombers to throw quickly deep downfield, where Miles is anticipating the interception and picks it off on our 25 yard line.
"Run the god dammed football" Buono yells at Chap. Chap responds"Do you want me to run "Orange Right 34 Pull Trap?". "Huh? Get our offensive lineman to outhit their offensive lineman" demands Wally. On first down we gain 4 yards. "Run the football again" yells Wally. "How about Black Left, 32 Blast?" asks Chap. "Huh? Get the line to hit harder" charges Wally. The Bombers stack the box, knowing that we can only run inside with the spead offence. Our offence gains 2 yards on second down", leaving us with 3 and 3 on our own 33 yard line.
"Jumbo team" yells Wally. "You realize we're on our own 33 yard line" Chap whispers into Wally's ear. Wally looks confused for a brief second and says "Of course I know that". Wally calls for another running play and the Bombers stuff our offence and takes over on downs. Our Lions defence blitzes twice, knocks the Bombers out of field goal range and we go on to win a close game that shouldn't have been close.
It's now time for the press conference. The assistants know their mute orders. "The assistant coaches need to do a better job with our short yardage run offence" emphasizes Wally to the press and adds "Our players need to execute our short yardage offence better". The press eats it up as they prepare their headline "Wally Says Assistant Coaches and Players Need to Coach and Execute Short Yardage Offence Better"! Of course they all think its Chap's fault. Wally never mentions that he is the one who coaches the Jumbo short yardage offence that each season is horrible.
Wally meets with his coaches after the game. "Who should we cut? We need to send a message". Uh, we cut an offensive lineman last week Wally...we're getting short on depth" the coaches respond. "They'll hit harder next game if we cut a vet" emphasizes Wally. "I'm not happy with you either" adds Wally, staring at Chap.
"Can I do something to make up for it" adds Chap, even though he knows Wally coaches the short yardage offence and Dorazio coaches the running game, at Wally's insistence.Denial, blame, projection are embedded in these after game discussions and responsibility has to be deflected.
"Nope" says Wally. Benny cuts the lawn on Saturday mornings, Dan does the whipper snippering, and Chuck waters the plants". Chap says "I always feel that I'm not in the inner circle". "Those guys revere me" Wally responds and you are never as complimentary. Tomorrow I'm telling the press that I'm going to have to mentor you!"
"Can I coach the short yardage team being as I always take the blame when we don't make it?" asks Chap. "Nope" answers Wally, and adds "Chap , you just will never be able to make the right call as to whether to punt or go for it on third down like me or know how to coach short yardage offence. Just like I'm guiding Ritchie on defense, you are born with it or you're not!!